I had intended to write at least one children's song for the Year of Song project, but I hadn't been inspired with any ideas in that direction. Then the other night, when there was a commotion coming from the floor above, my wife asked, "Is there a tap dancing cow upstairs?" And that is the inspiration for this song.
Lyrics
When I moved in, it caught me unawares.
I did not know there’s a tap dancing cow upstairs!
I cannot sleep at all while he’s up there.
I did not know there’s a tap dancing cow upstairs!
He’s not that good, but that’s alright except that
It drives me nuts the way he practices all night.
He wants to be a four-hoofed Fred Astaire
Who wears a bell. He’s the tap
dancing cow upstairs.
(Dance Break)
Oh what to do? My life seems so
unfair!
Not a moment’s peace, with a tap dancing cow upstairs.
I’ll have to move. It’s more
than I can bear.
I just can’t stay with a tap dancing cow upstairs.
He’s not that good, but that’s alright except that
It drives me nuts the way he practices all night.
He wants to be a four-hoofed Fred Astaire
Who wears a bell. He’s the tap
dancing cow upstairs.
My friend Stewart McKee enthusiastically suggested that I should include a Teletubbies song in my Year of Song project. Although I was familiar with them (and some of the controversies that surrounded them), I had to admit to never having seen an episode. Fortunately, the internet has allowed my mind to be enriched with information and streaming videos of the Teletubbies, so here is the musical result!
I used my Roland XV-5080 to created the musical accompaniment. I have composed a few other songs this year trying to create an entirely synthesized environment, but they have still been General MIDI sounds. I decided to explore several other preset patches on the XV-5080 for this song.
Lyrics:
The Teletubbies.
I hear them speaking to me through my TV.
They bring a message meant specifically for me.
With answers to this life and all its mystery.
The Teletubbies.
They come in colors.
I see them purple, green, and yellow, and red.
I see the rainbow form inside of my head.
Now I know what it must be like to be dead.
They come in colors.
I hear them speaking in my mind.
The words are soothing, they are kind.
It's time to turn on my TV,
Lay back on my couch and unwind.
Their time is coming.
When the world will follow everything they say.
When their shining colors come to rule the day.
The Teletubbies will come forth to lead the way.
Their time is coming.
Tailgaiting in and of itself is not a terrible thing. It can be a lot of fun if everyone does it respectfully, but this song is dedicated to the jerks that park on sidewalks and handicap spaces, leave mounds of trash for someone else to clean up, and act like they own the campus because they're season ticket holders (or even worse when they act this way and don't even have tickets to the game).
I created this song using the Roland XV-5080 sound module. There is a thick wash of sound provided by the sounds of piano, bass guitar, drumset (especially with the prominent cymbal crashes), clavinova, electric guitar, marimba, chimes, and warm pad. I also sang two vocal parts and played the synthesizer solo (and the synthesizer part in the final refrain) on my RD-600 keyboard.
Lyrics:
Tailgating trash. Tailgating trash.
I wish you'd get lost all you tailgating trash.
Tailgating trash. Tailgating trash.
I wish you would leave all you tailgating trash.
You're loud and you're obnoxious and you do not even care
About the way you're treating all the people living there.
You throw your trash out in the street here in my neighborhood.
I wish you all would go away and disappear for good.
I'm tired of all the childishness and flat stupidity.
I'm sick of all the poorly managed drunken revelry.
You're so fat you couldn't throw a football if you try,
and if you tried to run a lap, I'm sure that you would die.
The original Sesame Street song is filled with the plaintive cries of children begging for directions to Sesame Street. This call has never been unanswered . . . until now! "That is How You Get to Sesame Street" is the missing half of the song that gives directions to weary travelers that have spent the last 40 years searching in vain for Sesame Street.
Lyrics:
JFK is the airport you fly into.
Hailing a cab is the next thing you want to do.
And you tell the cabbie to take you to the Port Authority in Manhattan.
Then you buy a Metro Card in the booth at the station,
So you can ride several forms of public transportation.
Then you take a subway train or a bus to the Upper West Side.
Ride until you reach a street that's called Sesame.
Walk until the apartment building 1 - 2 - 3
and that is how you get, how you get to Sesame Street.
That's how you get to Sesame
Jeff Yunek and I were talking today and we decided that most performances of "Happy Birthday to You" are just dreadful. To remedy this, we have adapted the song in order to make it more accessible to amateur performers. Some of the changes we made include discarding 3/4 time in favor of the more familiar 4/4, beginning on scale degree 1 instead of 5, and eliminating all large melodic leaps. You may access the musical score https://docs.google.com/open?id=0B7TgO-MU-U9AMHJGbXR2ZTdvSHM
Lyrics:
Happy birthday to you.
Happy birthday to you.
Happy birthday dear Jeff.
Happy birthday to you.
Happy birthday to you.
Happy birthday to you.
Happy birthday dear Patrick.
Happy birthday to you.
Happy birthday to you.
Happy birthday to you.
Happy birthday dear Tiffany.
Happy birthday to you.
This song is a tribute to Lt. Commander Data from Star Trek:The Next Generation. The instrumental track was made entirely by layering different sounds from my RD-600 keyboard, as opposed to last week's "Ode to Spot," which was entirely notated on Finale on the computer and played through the XV-5080 sound module.
Lyrics:
It's true that I've met quite a few mellow guys.
But I've never met one with yellow eyes.
He's really strong and he can run very fast
But teaching him to whistle is a difficult task.
Commander Data.
He's a cool, clean, sentient machine
Making calculations like you ain't never seen.
You'll not see a sleeker robot
So intellectually keen.
He cannot say contractions no matter how hard he tries.
He sometimes seems naive although he is very wise.
The things he says will make you ask if he's sane.
But I bet you can't out-think his positronic brain.
With human feelings he can be such a dip
Unless he activates his emotion chip.
With stand-up humor, didn't make it too far,
But at least he made it with Tasha Yar.
The text of this song is from the Star Trek: The Next Generation episode "Schisms" in which Data recites the poem "Ode to Spot," in honor of his pet cat. I have also incorporated video clips from the show. This is my most complex attempt at syncing audio with video clips thus far in the Year of Song project.
The instrumental track was entirely notated on Finale on the computer and played through the XV-5080 sound module. I used Audacity to align the audio clips from the Star Trek episode with the Xv-5080 audio playback.
This song was played on the Dr. Demento Show on September 15, 2012.
Lyrics:
Data: Poets have composed odes to individuals who have had a profound effect upon their lives. In keeping with that tradition, I have written my next poem in honor of my cat. I call it, "Ode to Spot."
Felis catus is your taxonomic nomenclature,
An endothermic quadruped, carnivorous by nature;
Your visual, olfactory, and auditory senses
Contribute to your hunting skills and natural defenses, yeah.
I find myself intrigued by your subvocal oscillations,
A singular development of cat communications
That obviates your basic hedonistic predilection
For a rhythmic stroking of your fur to demonstrate affection, yeah.
A tail is quite essential for your acrobatic talents;
You would not be so agile if you lacked its counterbalance.
And when not being utilized to aid in locomotion,
It often serves to illustrate the state of your emotion.
Data: Commander, you have anticipated my denouement. However, the sentiment is appreciated. I will continue.
O Spot, the complex levels of behavior you display
Connote a fairly well-developed cognitive array.
And though you are not sentient, Spot, and do not comprehend,
I nonetheless consider you a true and valued friend.
