Friday, May 30, 2014

Week 126 - "Taking a Dip in the Adjunct Pool"

Lyrics:
Takin' a dip, dip.
Takin' a dip, dip.
Takin' a dip, dip.
Takin' a dip, dip.
Woo-oo-oo-oo
Woo-oo-oo-oo

I've always been the leader of my class.
There was no test in college I could not pass.
I always knew for certain I'd get an A.
You want some proof just check out my GPA.
I've always been good, did everything the guidance counselor said I should.

I graduated with a 4.0
Cum laude stamped on my diploma to show.
I went right on to get my PhD
I knew employers would be begging for me.
But now I'm done with school, and taking a dip in the adjunct pool.

The guy in high school that made straight Cs and Ds
Has done quite well, he makes more money than me.
I'm living in my car and eating fast food.
Sometimes I wonder if I really got screwed.
They played me for a fool, I'm taking a dip in the adjunct pool.

Well there's one nice thing about having no home.
They can't mail me my bills for my student loan.
What will I do come winter's chilly breeze?
Burn my diplomas so that I do not freeze.
They're paying me in gruel, I'm taking a dip in the adjunct pool.

Sunday, May 25, 2014

Week 125 - "Fun in the Sun"

Yeah!  Summer is here!


Lyrics:
The last day of school has come
And summertime has just begun.
I just want to shut off my brain
And pray that it won't start to rain.

I want some fun in the sun.
Let's have some fun in the sun.
Fun in the sun.
Oh yeah

I've been stuck behind my desk for so long.
Would breathing fresh air be so wrong?
I feel like the walls are closing in.
Why should going outside be a sin?

I want some fun in the sun.
Let's have some fun in the sun.
Fun in the sun.
Oh yeah


Saturday, May 17, 2014

Week 124 - "Zydeco Zebra"

A silly song inspired by family trips to the Audubon Zoo.






Lyrics:
It happened one fine day down in old New Orleans,
It was the strangest thing those folks ever seen.
And if you've ever been there you know that's a feat.
You'd think they'd seen it all down on old Bourbon street.
But then out of the blue, there's an escapee from the zoo.

From his habitat at the Audobon,
He hopped the closest streetcar to the Cafe du Monde.
Down at the old French Market he was trying to hide,
By pulling carriages, so that the people could ride.
'Til the folks heard the news that there's a zebra on the loose.

Oh what a crazy sight!
Those stripes of black and white.

That old zebra left the place in a daze,
But all he really wanted was a plate of beignets.
'Cause as a zebra that loves the rhythm of zydeco,
You've got to get your fill, as every Cajun should know.
And if you'd like to do better, you can feed him a muffaletta!

Saturday, May 10, 2014

Week 123 - The "Want Some Rye?" Rag

This song is based on the Boos Myller scene at the old mill from the 1993 Infocom game "Return to Zork."  Probably the most memorable scene of this long, difficult game.



Lyrics:

BOOS MYLLER:
Who're you?
Don't matter.
Want some rye?
Course you do!

WIZARD TREMBYLE:
That guy drinks so much, even his plants are potted.

BOOS MYLLER:
Here's to us.
Who's like us?
Damn few...
And they're all dead!

Want some rye?
Course you do!

Here's to us.
Who's like us?
Damn few...
And they're all dead!

Want some rye?
Course you do!

My, my keys?
Oh, oh, oh, sure, yeah, yeah.
I, I, I'm too drive to drunk.
Oh, would you pick up a six pack while you're out?
I'd be much obliged.

Here's to us.
Who's like us?
Damn few...
And they're all dead!

Saturday, May 3, 2014

Week 122 - "Join Our March"

This song is my contribution to Virginia's Family Foundation who have recently announced a planned 40-day fast as a spiritual stance against same-sex marriage.  Please note, this should not be mistaken for a hunger strike, as there are many types of abstentions that qualify under the definition of a fast.  In fact, there are rumors that this may actually be what has become known as a "Chik-Fil-A" fast, meaning that the Family Foundation will only be participating in a full fast on Sundays.




Lyrics:
Join our march as Biblical intellectuals
To fight our war against the homosexuals.
We'll starve ourselves for forty days,
Yes, that'll show those lousy gays.

We think the things they do are really gross,
And so we'll fast until they go away.
But the thing I'm sure we'll miss the most
Is Friday afternoons at Chik-Fil-A.

Join our march as Biblical intellectuals
To fight our war against the homosexuals.
We'll starve ourselves for forty days,
Yes, that'll show those lousy gays.