Week 89 - "North Pole Jam"

This is another song for the children's musical I'm writing, "A Christmas for Pirates."  The pirates accidentally arrive at the North Pole and find that a talent show is taking place under the direction of the elf MC Legolas.

Lyrics:
I'm MC Legolas and I'm here to say
It's our last change to party before Christmas day.
All the presents are wrapped and they're ready to go,
Now I've got one question that I'm dying to know.

What's cooler than cool?  North pole!
What's cooler than cool?  North pole!
What's cooler than cool?  North pole!
We give some people thrills, and other people, we just give the chills!

Are you ready to party?  Are you feeling alright?
'Cause the Arctic Circle's spinning with the show we've got tonight.
Snuggle up with your gloves, furry coat, and woolly hat,
'Cause the North Pole's got talent, what do you think about that?

What's cooler than cool?  North pole!
What's cooler than cool?  North pole!
What's cooler than cool?  North pole!
We give some people thrills, and other people, we just give the chills!
North pole!

Week 88 - "A Christmas for Pirates - Opening Song"

I composed this song for the Christmas musical at my daughter's elementary school.  If you are a teacher interested in performing this play with your children, send me message.

Lyrics:
We are three dreadful fearsome pirates
and we live our lives on the sea.
We're not so good at navigation,
so we don't know where we might be.
I think we took a wrong turn somewhere,
and now we're lost and we're getting cold.
I think if I have read the map right,
we are headed to the North Pole.

Week 87 - "Delicate Creatures"

This is a song for "The Great American Musical."  I co-wrote the lyrics with August Mergelman.  The character of Lance is singing a very chauvinistic song in an old Broadway style.  Andrea, on the other hand, points out that the chorus girls use him at least as much as he uses them, and sticks it to him for being a chauvinist.

Lyrics:
Lance:
Girls have such delicate features.
Such wonderful creatures,
No wonder I can't make my mind up,
When I see those dollies lining up.
Each has her particular style.
Oh, which one shall I choose to walk down the aisle?

I would never intend to cause them sorrow.
(Girls: Oh no!)
So many of them but only one gets me.
(Girls: Oh please!)
May I should save myself 'til tomorrow.
(Girls: Oh no!)
Who knows what my eyes may fancy to see?
Lance and Girls: Yes siree!

Andrea:
As you can plainly see,
He lacks humility.
He thinks he's suave playing the field and running around,
He's up and down the chorus line.
The truth is that it suits us fine.
He think's he's pretty cute,
But he's a chauvinist galoot.
And just who's using who depends on your point of view.

Lance:
Girls are such wonderful play toys
For vagabond playboys
And only for the modest price
Of gold and fourteen-karat ice.
Oh, girls are such wonderful play toys
To comfort men who do the work of the world.

Week 86 - "The Pet Peeve Quartet - Reprise"

This is a demo of "The Pet Peeve Quartet - Reprise" by August Mergelman and me for our musical "The Great American Musical."  The reprise takes place in a flashback to the early days of Broadway, hence the Tin Pan Alley style with the Beguine in the bridge and the old record sound at the beginning.

Lyrics:
He's just someone from the past.
That new act will never last.
I hate the way that girl can get to me.

I hate the way that he can cower.
She waits within her ivory tower.
I sigh hour after hour.
I hate the way that boy can get to me.

The feeling is so great
That I can't concentrate
On whatever it was that I was doing.

I'm helpless and it seems,
He's even in my dreams.
I'm just a horse that needs re-shoeing.

I think he has a lot of nerve.
I hope she gets what she deserves.
I love the way that girl can get to me.

I wish that he would take a stand.
I wish that he would take my hand.
I think love could be so grand.
I hate the way that girl can get to me.

Week 85 - "The Great American Musical"

This is the title song of the musical I'm working on with August Mergelman.

This is the great American musical.

Yes, it's the great American show.

There'll be singing and dancing

And laughs and romancing

And songs that we all will come to know,

That you'll be singing in the shower.

It's the great American musical

Here on the great American stage.

We are here to entertain,

But not to tax your brain,

So you'll enjoy no matter what your age.

So grab a chorus girl and sway,

And you can dance the night away,

Although the men are mostly gay,

The audience won't make a peep,

They'll just suspend their disbelief.

So join us at the show

And invite everyone you know,

And if you could donate some dough,

'Cause in this economy the arts are first to go.

This is the great American musical

And what a great diversion it is.

Such a wonderful feeling

That will leave you reeling

And wishing that you were in the biz,

So you'd be basking in the spotlight.

It's the great American musical,

So come forget all your worry and strife.

No, you never can go wrong,

So join the dance and song,

And celebrate a true red, white, and blue American life!

Week 84 - "Compulsory Blue Note Song"

This is a song I wrote for the "Great American Musical" project.

Lyrics:
You think it's really white at the start of the song,
and then a sudden blue note tells you you're wrong.
You must have a compulsory blue note song!

It starts out really straight and so you don't know
Just exactly where this music will go.
You must have a compulsory blue note song!

You never saw it coming 'til
They threw that blue note in your face.
Even when you've learned it still
It kind of sounds a bit out of place.

So throw the rules of musical taste.
Cannot let this soulful groove go to waste.
You must have a compulsory blue note song!

(Neutral syllable/scat break)

You must have a compulsory blue note song!
Every musical has a compulsory blue note song!
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!

Week 83 - "How Much is that Doggie in the Window?" - parody

This is my parody of Bob Merrill's song, "How Much is that Doggie in the Window?"

Lyrics:
Ch.
How much is that doggie in the window?
He is really strong, I can tell.
How much is that doggie in the window?
I do hope that doggie's for sale.

v.1
I've heard there've been burglars in my neighborhood.
I must draw a line they can't cross.
So I need to buy a doggy that would
Show those witless cretins who's boss.

Ch.
How much is that doggie in the window?
Those huge teeth are fierce, I can tell.
How much is that doggie in the window?
I do hope that doggie's for sale.

v.2
I want him to have spikes on his collar
I want him to strike hearts with fear.
I think that I'll buy me that Rottweiler.
So all are afraid to come near.

v.3
My neighbor has got the most annoying cat,
He leaves his mark in my flower bed.
I guess from now on we'll see about that,
'Cause "Killer" will rip him to shreds.

Ch.
How much is that doggie in the window?
The one that's as scary as hell.
How much is that doggie in the window?
I do hope that doggie,
I do hope that doggie,
I do hope that doggie's for sale.